Little Feelings

First Intimate Touch

2010-06-06T10:00:00.002+08:00

Thank you for your help yesterday. I really appreciate it.
Along the journey, I have the impulsion to do something I never done to you.
I have the eager feeling to touch your hand and ask whether you are tired.
I have the feeling wanna care for you much.
But in the end I didn't do that because I am not dare to. But I don't know the reason for this impulsion.
For me, may be our relationship has became closer since we upgraded from normal sms friend to part time couple.
Although the part time couple only in sms or msn, but I would like to make it real sometimes. I would angry with myself why I have this silly thinking.
Because we both know that the part time couple is just a joke in sms.

I think I am crazy. I wish to practice the part time couple relationship in real life rather only in text-ing.
But I know it is impossible.

On the way back, you ask me whether can help you massage your back.
I was happy for your request and of course I did it for you.
It was the first time I felt the closeness between us.
Actually I was surprised for your request.
The moment you handed out and ask me to massage your hand, I can felt you are comfortable with me and willing to let me do whatever for your hand.
This was what never happen before between us.

You have smooth skin and an strong arm.
Now only I know that.
Hope you were really comfortable with my massage.
Although you praise my massage skill, but I would doubt your praise.
Because I would think what you said just to make me happy and laugh.
Anyway I enjoy the time I massage for you.
Hope you enjoy too.

HoMe sWeeT hOMe....

2010-05-06T19:53:00.002+08:00

I board 10a.m. bus in Changlun today.
Woke up in 8a.m to do final preparation before leaving my room, leaving UUM campus, leaving all my uni friends here.

On 2007, I leave my hometown and got into this big community, mixed with the people inside, got along and built strong relationship with them.
In just 3 years time, I gain really lots of memories.
No matter sweet or bitter.
All I will treasure in my heart forever.
I learn a lot too.
Learn how to be a royal friend.
Learn how to negotiate with friend.
Learn to be patient.

On 2010, I walk out from this community and back to my hometown.
I am wondering what kind of community I will join in the near future.
Work community?
I don't know.
I also wondering when I will be leaving "that" community.
In 2 years, or 10 years?

Is this the rule of life?
We always joining and leaving different communities, and in the end there will be a final community which we called "home".
We will have our own family and growing with our children.
We won't leave our home until our life has go to the end.

FINALLY~~~

2010-05-06T02:32:00.002+08:00

wooh.....! Finally my last paper has past. The last exam in my university life has end. My university life has come to the end.
Now is 2.30a.m, I will be leaving here in seven hours later.
At the seven hours before I leave, many feelings stir together in my heart.
Supposed I be very happy and can't wait to leave this jungle, but when the moment really came, the feeling is different from what I have expected before.
I am feeling sad and reluctant to leave my friends here.
Soo Huah just message told me that she cries after watch the video I made for her. Tuan Sing also cries when he send goodbye message to his best friends here.
I can feel the air is full of sorrow.
I hate this feeling, it's the same as I left my ns camp last time.
Why we always need to depart with those we already get closed?
I don't understand.
May be I won't be understand forever.
Because I don't want to know the answer...

Here I come to the corner of my life, the corner to another stage of my life.
I am no longer a student.
I am no longer depend on my parents.
When I start working, they are the one who depend on me.
I wish to get a great job so that I could have a great life!
After my financial is stable, I wish I can go travel around the world.
I wish I can fulfill my dreams.
Whatever dreams I have.
Wish me good luck!

A moody day

2010-04-29T01:48:00.013+08:00

Today’s exam was Basic Accounting. It was on 9a.m.
I woke up on 6a.m to review the entire chapters. But I was very sleepy because I slept at one something last night.
I push myself hardly to concentrate on the slides and memorize all the formulas.
Unfortunately I couldn’t finish up all the chapter in just an hour.
Since my carry marks for this subject is quite high, I was not worrying about it until I got the exam paper.
All the question was very hard for me, I started to feel scared.
Things happened to be worst when I felt sick during the examination. The main reason was I suffering from lack of sleep. I could felt fire burning in my body but in the same time the environment of the examination hall was chilled. This makes me couldn’t concentrate on the exam.
I couldn’t remember the formula at all. Consequently, there were 20++ question which I put it blank. I feel really scared. The 1st time I left out so many questions among all the exam I have sat before.
I was aiming to score A for this subject. But my dream was spoiled.
This made me feel moody all the day.

I took a nap and it lasted for two hours. Then I watched a funny movie because I have no mood to study. The movie was really funny. Laughing could really lifted me up and put aside the sad feelings.

Wish me good luck for the rest of the exam paper.

Je t'adore

2010-04-27T12:51:00.003+08:00

I wish each day will be night time, I pray if it could be no day time.
This is because you only free to entertain me on night time. You will only contact me on night time.
The day time seems to be one year for me. Or it could be more than a year sometimes.
You don't know how disappointed I am when I did not hear from you at night.
My eyes keep on starring on the phone's screen as I am afraid that I have miss out the rings when your message comes.

I understand you are busy with work everyday. So I won't angry with you.
I just blame myself for continuing miss you all the time. My mind is full of imagination of you.
I imagine our outing, our future, and some ridiculous dream, there may no possibility to happen but I am hoping it will comes true one day.

I am wondering whether you miss me too. I am wondering whether I come to your mind even just a second in a whole day long.
It just need to be a second, because a second would bright me up for a day!

I wishing you to pass each day with happiness, with joy and bright smile.
Everyday will be a good day for you!

A new ME..!

2010-04-27T01:30:00.001+08:00

It has been two years after my last blog, anything has changed to Fow Shiew Mun?

I don't know...

May be my hairstyle has changed, my clothing has different from last time (at least a little bit matured now), or may be I have grown up a little bit, I mean in the way of mentally.
But nothing has changed to my life!

Because...

I am till being a student of UUM...
Bored student life!!

But...

This gonna to end soon! In just a week time...!
I will be graduate after nine days! YEAHHH!!!!
My long waiting day has finally come...
I hope a CHANGED in my life!

I wish to enter working life as I have been a student for 17 years since I was in kindergarten.
Although many say that working life is not good, many politic issue in office, or may get frame and island by colleague... but I am still having eager feeling to try it! ^.^

I wish I can get a good job with high pay and good remuneration package so that I could provide a better life for my family, for my parents.
I believe they have long wait for the day to come too.
They have been waiting for me to graduate, so that I have my own career and learn to be independent.
Don't worry, mom and dad, I won't be your burden soon but in the other way round!
I promised will take good care of you!
I wish I could bring you to travel in other countries which you have been dreaming for, such as Japan, Korea, Rome, and other western countries.

As student life going to end soon, many things pop up in my mind especially all the memories in UUM here.
There were sweet and happy memories, and sure some of them were bitter.
I am glad to know Ying Nee and Soo Huah who have been my buddies here for three years.
They brought me a lot of fun, crazy and unforgettable memories.
We have been the same lecture for three years, most of the time we were sticking together.
We have left our foot prints in every corner of UUM.
Each time you see one of us, there will sure be others two around. ^.^
Thank you for being my friends and be part of good memories in my life.
I will treasure our friendship in my heart.

I have moved to DPP Muamalat in semester four where I met my three cute roommates.
I am luckily to have them as my roommates especially Ah Liao.
She is also my good buddy here. She is a nice roommate and nice soul mate.
She would always by my side whenever I have problem and she always console me whenever I am down.
Although we are going to separate soon, but I am sure we will meeting and contacting each other in the future.
This is because I appreciate our friendship.
You will be a life time friend. I promised.

Wei Ling, my another pretty roommate, who is good to be friend with too.
She is a good buddy but always put things inside herself. She rarely tells us her problem.
Ling, you need to speak out your problem or find someone to release the moody when you have problem. Don't put all inside the heart or else it's gonna be full and break down soon.
I hope you will be happy always.
Keep in touch so that I could update about you next time. ^.^

Xiu Xiu, i hope you will find a good job and do whatever you wish to accomplish.
Sure you will happy always too! ^.^
Don't forget about me if you meet me next time. hehe...

It is 2.30 a.m. and I have a date with Mr. Chow.
Good night. Wish myself for a good day tomorrow! ^.^

My First Time…

2008-12-21T10:02:00.000+08:00

20^th October 2008, 2.59pm

Tired…but FUUUUUUN!!!! Feels like being a model today! Two professional photographer (actually they do not work as photographer but just having fever on photography and finding models to release their addiction!) help me to take photos in Kellie Castle! I was too nervous until I couldn’t sleep well yesterday because this is my first time! Beside nervous, I feel scared too…since I never meet with them before! I got to know them through online. At first, I read through a bulletin posted by a photographer saying that he is looking for model for taking photograph! Besides personal photos, he also takes photo for friends, couple or any event such as wedding dinner, exhibition and functions. He also shows photos he has been taken before. Those photos were nice! I was having conflict whether want to ask them to take photos for me. The reason I do not want was I scared that they are bad people who graph my head to a naked body and post it online. While the reason I wish to be their model was I really impressed with their photography technique and the way they do editing to the photos! If you are not believe with me you can go to these link http://baobaolong.multiply.com/ and http://picasaweb.google.com.tw/CheeWailoh.

At the end of the conflict, I finally chose to have a try on it! This is because I impressed on them more than I scared them. I hope I can be the character of their beautiful photos! Their super work made me feel less suspicious on them! So I agree to be their model and chose to have photography session today at Kellie Castle! My first impression on them was friendly and nice! There are 3 persons, Chee Wai, his sister, Pui Kwan and his brother in law, Yee Loon where Yee Loon is Pui Kwan husband! At first I feel abashment and did not posed naturally. But after warming up I can interact well with them! The photography session lasts for two hours. Now I am waiting eagerly to see the result!!

I think today would be a highlight of my semester break holiday! ^.^

Job's News

2008-11-08T20:30:00.000+08:00

7^th November, 12.22pm

Five more days to go before having exam on 12th and I decided to finish up my revision for Intermediate Microeconomic today…But I got a bad news this morning!! I have failed in the interview for Spring Festival 2009 and do not selected for bureau leader! I am very down… It was unexpected! I thought my percentage to be successful in that interview was higher than others interviewee since I have been in Moon Cake Festival. “Do not put too much expectation on something otherwise you will be in deep despair if it turns to the opposite of what you had expected!” For this time I totally agreed with this aphorism. I couldn’t put my attention on study now. My mind is full of “WHY? WHY? WHY? What is the reason I have not been selected as bureau leader?” I think the answer would not be revealed forever… Rationally, I know that I should not be dilemma by this Job’s news for a long time. At least not more than one day because I have no more time to waste now! And it’s already a fact! I could do nothing to change it! The most important thing is I can’t let it to influent my final exam…

One day out in UUM!!

2008-11-08T20:28:00.001+08:00

2 November 2008, 11:59pm

Wooh!! I have a great day today! Wai Yee asked me out with her friends and we really enjoy the day!! We started off our hang out today on 10:20am. There were four of us: Wai Yee, Wai Mun, Joe and me! Joe and Wai Mun are Wai Yee’s friend whom I just got to know today! We rented a car and it was driven by Joe. About 11am we reach our 1^st destination—Alor Setar. We had brunch at Secret Recipe. At first I was feeling a little bit strangeness towards Joe and Wai Mun since I just be friend with them. But I’m also trying to mingle around with them! Then we went to karaoke in Alor Setar Mall. It’s been a long time I have not go for karaoke and unexpectedly I had it in Alor Setar Mall after that long period! And surprisingly I have fun! The facilities and environment in that E-Box was not as bad as I thought. During the four hours singing time I have more interaction with my new friends and we become closer! It made me feel more comfortable to be with them! We singing together, joking, laughing and took photograph together! And I found out Wai Yee can sing quiet well! ^.^

After that we shopping at the mall and bought some daily necessity. It’s nearly 6pm and our stomach has started to whisk. So we went dinner at kampung Siam ( a Thai restaurant ) which located in Jitra. It’s been a long time I wish to taste the Tom Yam’s soup there because of it’s well known among UUM students. Finally I can really taste it by my mouth compared to last time I could only heard it by my ears. ^.^ It taste really good!! Yummy!! We finish filling our stomach on 8pm and we continue to our next stop— movie! We went for a scary movie in Jitra mall! The movie is called Flight Of The Dead! The movie is interesting but the cinema is too cold. It chilled us deeply into our heart! Although I can hardly bear the coldness but I am still happy during the movie! We find it interesting when most part of the movie really frightened us! And we laugh together!

Today made me realized that sometimes an unexpected dated out would lift up our mood. Sometimes thing turn out to be the opposite site of what we thought of! It is just like today, I thought it would be a money wasting and boring date since I go out with two friends whom I am not really close to! But it came up differently! It’s really surprised that I really have fun when going out with them! ^.^ So we shouldn’t be too sure when we judge on something because sometimes it may turn up differently.

Was it dream?

2008-10-29T14:17:00.001+08:00

I don’t really want that to happen… But in my dream, it is not in line with my reality thinking! Anything can be happen in a dream.

Or… Only dream does show the real of my own? Does dream reflects and shows out all the things which I run away in the real life? But may be the things I am running away are actually what I want from the deep of my heart…? I don’t know…

I went to KL with Fish and met with him again…

I was in a car and I was sitting at the driver seat of his car. He was sitting behind of my driver seat, Fish was sitting on his left hand side, big Fish and Ling was sitting next to Fish. And the one who sat at the front seat was Kei. I was very excited! I am in my favourite long sleeve’s peach colour shirt and short pant! I My hair was half tied and little front hair was clip up. We are going to have fun in karaoke! I am the one who should be driving that time but he changed the car control to his seat since I didn’t seem to give him back the driver seat! I think I was too agitate until I forgot the one who are not going to drive should not possess the driver seat! Hehe… And he also didn’t ask me to sit at the back seat. That car was special because the steering can be control by whether people at the driver seat or the one behind the driver seat! It was feeling good when sitting on the driver seat but needs not to drive! He drove to my house 1^st. Fish and I was wondering why… then he told me to bring along my jacket so that I won’t be getting cold in the k-room later. My heart was sweet and the others were smiling (laughing in their hearts) to me! But I don’t mind about that since he is so scrupulosity to me! Then we went to his house and I was amazed by the phenomenon outside his house! There was a mountain beside his house and that mountain was full of Indian! They seem doing their prayer on that mountain. Oh! It was Deepavali and all the Indian were doing their prayer on the ‘黑风洞’! Then only I know that the ‘黑风洞’ which I have been amazed of and thinking to have a visit on it for a long time just situated near to his house! I suggested that we climb to the top of the mountain together and they also agreed with that! On the way to karaoke, we have a joke on Ling but she don’t know about that! Haha… The spectacle she wore was very funny! It was in a round shape! We whispered that from one to another except her! Then we laughed together!

On the other day…..

We reached at the foot of the mountain. From the back he put his chin on my shoulder and told me something. He had whispered something to my ear but I forgot what it was! I only knew it was a sweet thing! My heart beats very fast that time! It seems something burnt on my cheeks!

After got down from the car, we started off our journey to the top of the mountain! When we were walking up the stairs, he suddenly lifted me up from behind using his hands under my oxter! He gave me a shocked! I couldn’t believe that he could hold me up since I am very heavy! I don’t know why he did that! Was he trying to surprise me? He really does…

We finally reached on the top. The distance was not as far as I thought…

We were happy because we had made it!

I merely heard some sounds of my parents. I opened my eyes…

EXAM....!!!

2008-10-15T21:06:00.000+08:00

14^th Oct 08 , 12.44am

I am going to be awarded dean’s certificate at 10am later. But the excited feeling has not been the same as last time when I have received the certificate also.

The main reason is I am worrying about the final exam which is approaching SOON! Really very soooonnnn!! I am feeling stress right now. This feeling is uneasy and uncomfortable! I should have started to do revision but nothing that I have done!

I always do revision at the last minute! I knew it is a bad habit but I can’t take this habit off!! Haih…..

Of course I hope that I can receive dean certificate on every semester but I think this dream can’t be true now! There are a few subjects which I feel very tough on this semester so I don’t have confident to pass with pointer above 3.5 ( minimum requirement to be dean’s listed ).

May Guan Yin bless me!! ^.^

Down...down...

2008-10-10T22:23:00.003+08:00

8^th Oct 08

My mood is actually fine and normal today. But when I online and accidentally saw his photo in someone’s friendster profile, my mood turn 180 ̊. My heart beat very fast and my mind blank for a moment. I hate this!! I hate that he still gives a huge influence on me when I get connected with something related with him!! When I saw the type of car he used to fetch me, when I heard the song he sent to me, when I saw his name in my contact number or I saw names which are similar with his name……All these phenomenon will also make him appears clearly on my mind! But my feeling for him now is more to the negative site—I hate him!! This is because he never did what he had promised me. The promise I mean is not just one or two things but all the words he had told me in the last two years!! He did not mean his words at all!! I have decided not to contact with him anymore!! I will ignore his call or message!! I hope I can do this and will not bluff by him anymore. My heart can no longer bear this deep hurt… Each time I thought there was a hope he just sabotage it! He broke my heart with massive efforts into pieces until I could not even find all the very little pieces to form my heart again each time he hurt me. So there is a growing hole in my heart…! It’s enough..! I can’t let him makes me distraught anymore! I want to stand up again and wait for someone to fill up the hole of my heart!

"Opening" of my feeling

2008-10-08T20:32:00.000+08:00

4^th October 2008

It is 4pm, two hours left for me to stay at home. Ops it’s actually one hour! This is because it takes me 45 minutes to go to the bus stop from my home. The bus I am going to take back to UUM is on 6pm. I just finished packing my bag. I should be using this one hour to take a nap but I couldn’t fall asleep. What had happened on this 10 days holiday going through my head and I don’t know how to describe my feeling now. I don’t feel want to back to school because it is a boring life there. And also I am going to miss my bed at home so much, miss the comfortable feeling of my home, miss the time going out with my hometown friends, and MISSSSSS the delicious foods cooked by my mom which I will never find it anywhere other than my home!!

I just had my hair cut on the second day I back to home. It has been a long time I never had my hair cut this short. It is a fresh looks for me! Some of my friends said this short hair suitable for me. Luckily I got good response! ^.^ People always say a fresh new look would means a brand new start for a person. I hope so!!

We have organized an old classmates gathering yesterday. There were 12 friends attended to the gathering. I was feeling great when met with some old buddy who did not see for a long time! Many of them have changed appearance compared to the school day’s looks. And of course all of them become more and more charming! One surprise things in the gathering was Yee Hieng had her new hair cut!! This was a good try for her because her hair style had been maintains the same since years ago. Hope that she won’t mind! Hehe… But she really looks nicer than before. Seit Yoke stays cute and funny as last time. She was the “kai xin guo” of our group! Mun Yee and Wai Wai become slimmer and slimmer than before. Don’t know how they did that. I am sure will ask for the secret recipe from them next time! Hehe… While Lu Ying, Kar Poh and Yee Leng become more mature and already have “nui yan mei”! I believe many guys sure get attracted to them. Sze Teng looks as cool as before but her attitude become more friendly and nice! Phooi Yee is becoming more pretty now. I think I don’t need to comment on Ah Foong and Mun Ding because I often see them! :p

We took a lot of photograph using Sze Teng’s high tech digital camera. I will keep those photos properly as a good memory.

Friends, I hope we can still maintain this good friendship until we are 80 years old or even 100 years old!!

Take good care of yourselves and I hope we can share this sweet memory together that time. J