8th Oct 08
My mood is actually fine and normal today. But when I online and accidentally saw his photo in someone’s friendster profile, my mood turn 180 ̊. My heart beat very fast and my mind blank for a moment. I hate this!! I hate that he still gives a huge influence on me when I get connected with something related with him!! When I saw the type of car he used to fetch me, when I heard the song he sent to me, when I saw his name in my contact number or I saw names which are similar with his name……All these phenomenon will also make him appears clearly on my mind! But my feeling for him now is more to the negative site—I hate him!! This is because he never did what he had promised me. The promise I mean is not just one or two things but all the words he had told me in the last two years!! He did not mean his words at all!! I have decided not to contact with him anymore!! I will ignore his call or message!! I hope I can do this and will not bluff by him anymore. My heart can no longer bear this deep hurt… Each time I thought there was a hope he just sabotage it! He broke my heart with massive efforts into pieces until I could not even find all the very little pieces to form my heart again each time he hurt me. So there is a growing hole in my heart…! It’s enough..! I can’t let him makes me distraught anymore! I want to stand up again and wait for someone to fill up the hole of my heart!
No comments:
Post a Comment